DONT FOLLOW OR COMMENT this is strictly just my personal journal. Im just letting out my demons, so its none of most peoples business. If i dont know u, or dont like u, don't even read this blog at all







possibly the only people(on blogger) that id trust with being allowed to read this: Lauren, Malvey, and maybe Sarah and Katt. actually pretty much my lunch table exept for Faith.

Actually, ya, just scratch that,nobody read it ok?







Friday, October 1, 2010

Dreams are just Dreams

Thats what I have to keep telling myself once I wake up. My dreams go so in depth that they show 24 hour periods in the 7 that I sleep. And they are so realistic that I'm afraid my body is moving to them in my bed, which would wake up blake and would bring up a lot of questions. But this one gave me everything that I've been wanting for so long. A certain girl( ah what the hell no ones supposed to read this anyway: Its lauren) finally stares into my eyes, lightly unferls her hand to except mine, and our lips touch ever so gently. Not a sexy, dirty type of thing, not a long, drawn out make out scene, just enough to brush the skin, enough to take me out at the knees if I where actually.... If only. and I wake up, horable downtroden, laying on the couch thinking, thinking. It's all I ever do anymore. I dont have an ounce of courage to even say anything. If I did I might lose the only friendship that keeps me going, even though we dont talk much, even though I dream about her every night and still dont tell her anything, and it torments me. so I'll take the simple step, to repeat it to myself once again. I love you Lauren, in the deepest sort of way. Your hazel eyes make me helpless to fight it, and I want to be with you in every sense of these words. Your gorgeous, and I'm just a mess of disgust, but will you take me anyway?
And it echos on and on.