Thats what I have to keep telling myself once I wake up. My dreams go so in depth that they show 24 hour periods in the 7 that I sleep. And they are so realistic that I'm afraid my body is moving to them in my bed, which would wake up blake and would bring up a lot of questions. But this one gave me everything that I've been wanting for so long. A certain girl( ah what the hell no ones supposed to read this anyway: Its lauren) finally stares into my eyes, lightly unferls her hand to except mine, and our lips touch ever so gently. Not a sexy, dirty type of thing, not a long, drawn out make out scene, just enough to brush the skin, enough to take me out at the knees if I where actually.... If only. and I wake up, horable downtroden, laying on the couch thinking, thinking. It's all I ever do anymore. I dont have an ounce of courage to even say anything. If I did I might lose the only friendship that keeps me going, even though we dont talk much, even though I dream about her every night and still dont tell her anything, and it torments me. so I'll take the simple step, to repeat it to myself once again. I love you Lauren, in the deepest sort of way. Your hazel eyes make me helpless to fight it, and I want to be with you in every sense of these words. Your gorgeous, and I'm just a mess of disgust, but will you take me anyway?
And it echos on and on.
Friday, October 1, 2010
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